Need to talk to Kailey about who I’ve been and who I’d like to be. As of late I keep having this sensation that I’m falling short and it’s because I have. I keep falling off into this chasm of self pity and self… idk. Self. Like I need more attention. Like I want to be taken care of and helped on everything or acknowledged somehow and I don’t know what’s caused it. In some ways I think that it stems from the fact that I’ve been giving quite a bit of myself and putting in a lot of time with our house… it’s made me kinda apathetic to our unity. My taste in music has shifted, my reading material has shifted, my daily activities have been off what I actually want from myself. It’s almost like I’m trapped inside myself and can feel the inaction but can’t seem to fight it. The DO never happens even though the impulse and the motivation to do it are there. It’s like some invisible hand is stopping me whenever I try to do the things I want to do. I can’t seem to find the niche that hits it. I want to exercise, read, work on things for the house, but when the time presents itself to do literally anything, I find myself working late or watching a YouTube video or being pulled aside. I work well all morning but can’t seem to… DO by the days end. I think I might actually need to take two like my doctor mentioned, and go from there. We’ll need to ask for more than just the 30, or start to collect an Rx every two weeks instead?